Thursday, October 19, 2017

The SeaHouse

The SeaHouse

It was rather cheap. That was a plus. It had generally thirteen pelicans on the roof, sometimes less, sometimes more, depending on their needs and habits. They considered the roofline and the chimney tops their home. I liked that. The foundation was a bit wonky and half the house sat at a bit of an angle. No room for a garden at all with only seawater fore and aft, and barnacled rocks beneath and landward. I rather liked the place. It had character, and the only kind of neighbors I cared for: large-billed birds and slow-moving tidal life. It was cheap enough no insurance was required and neglected enough no inspector dared care.
I made my home in the top two floors as the bottom floor was generally awash during high tides, and yes, it was still a bit moist and drafty as well, but a bit of stuffing in the cracks and crevasses and corners here and there solved most of that, and a thick rug on the deck plus a fix to the fireplaces took care of the rest.
Being a writer I had no real need of people or conveniences, for I prefer pen and paper and I despise society and see it as a determent to living an honest life and one fully exposed to the real world. People are so egocentric and society so anthropocentric, everything is about them. They have even anthropomorphized God in their own image. Ah, but the world is full of stars! And seas! And life and light! Life is not just that which respires in and out, no! Just as light is not just the few wavelengths which we perceive! Light is everywhere. The universe is not dark. It is filled with light. Light is everywhere. It is how broadly you can see to define it. Life is universal. You shouldn’t define it by your own limits. Its not just about you.
And “Man’s” obsession with God? Their desire to find approval for themselves? No, God is not about you and your obsession with yourself, what you wish to call your salvation. God, if that is what you must label it, is so much more than that. You must see more broadly, beyond your own limits, to define that which is universal. You see, our perception of the world comes in its separateness, its pieces, but it is its connectedness which is its reality, not its pieces.

Ah, but I wander off on the beaten path of philosophy! Now its time to return to the here and now. I have lived in this house for two years now and weathered many a storm. One bangs at my footings and dashes at my door as I write. And a good one it is! The night is long and all the resident pelicans have abandoned me early on. The house groans a bit, rather much really, and the lower floor is awash as never before. It is a glorious feeling really, to be so alive, and a part of this tempest and hear the bones of this house complain and threaten to give way. One does love to be in the midst of something important whether it be battle or birth. A peak experience as they say. Man built this glorious old house and it shall surely fail be it tonight or on some tomorrow, but nature built the rocks below it and the mountains of the earth and they shall surely fail as well, just over a longer period of time. But their failure is their success as well, for they have done their purpose, fulfilled their mission, and lived its meaning! I as well, whether it be in this storm or some other, my coming failure will fulfill my intended meaning and I shall be awash in another purpose of no less importance. Just as the raging storm at my door is dynamic, so is existence.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

The Cold Cold Squirrels of Winter

The Cold Cold Squirrels of Winter

Nestled in the boughs of winter
Cold icy snowy boughs of winter
He snuggles down into his own fur and leaf litter
Thinking of peanuts and suet cakes and corn.

Nestled in the boughs of winter
No thoughts of fall, of summer, or spring arise.
No thoughts of others or green grass or sun occur
Only peanuts and suet cakes and corn endure.

Nestled in the boughs of winter
The first light comes
The ice fog is here
The snow lightly there upon the ground
And on the railing four peanuts in their shell appear. 

Attachments area

Sunday, August 21, 2016


To be social is to be forgiving. Am I social? Only very slightly so.
I prefer an empty countryside to a gathering of most people. 
I find more civility there and certainly a more honest forgiveness in return.

Monday, July 18, 2016

How I can prove God exists, sort of.

How I can prove God exists, sort of.

Scientists have a problem called the cosmological constant. This is a reference (as I understand it, and this disclaimer applies to everything I say here) to the level of inherent energy in the vacuum of spacetime.  If lower, the stars and life could not form. If higher, all would fly apart and life would be impossible. I think I have that close to right. In any case, because the cosmological constant is balanced so perfectly, impossibly perfectly, they are troubled by this fact. Some have said this has to point to a higher intelligence, i.e. God, to have so many things so perfectly tuned for existence to work. 

The solution comes in the form of Multiverses , and the Many Worlds theory, which may be two perspectives of the same thing.  The Multiverse theory is that this is only one of an infinite number of universes, each with its own set of physical laws and circumstances. To make sense of our perfect situation, it is said that we just happen to be the one that worked among the infinite number of those that didn’t, at least the same way. In this scenario all possible (or should I say impossible) universes must exist. An infinite number, for us to have occurred. This means much the same as the Many Worlds theory puts forth. In that case, the timeline of your life is a constant selection of choices every instant, and a constantly new number of “yous” follow every possible choice path; an endless infinite branching of your timeline.

Now consider what this means, and what they say about this which may sound ridiculous. Every scenario you can possibly think of exists in one of these worlds. In one, you are Hitler. In another you are long dead, or never been born. In another we never became human, and another we are gods. Whatever.  So you see, this doesn’t sound sensible whatsoever, but the vast array of universes don’t care what we think sensible.

Now in one of these universes, there exists, beyond  any doubt, a god, in fact God, if all possible worlds exists. And this god is the God of all the timelines and all the multiverses. And so God exists. And if theses theories are as foolish as they sound, and wrong… what then? We are left with the conundrum that our set of circumstances are too, in fact, impossibly balanced. What then?

Here’s what I think, lowly as my educational and intellectual status might be. First of all, regarding infinite timelines and free will: The past is recorded and done. It existed but is now a static record that helped to establish the present. The future is potential, and its path, though there are many possibles, is not yet established. The future is potential, in the same regard as wave function in quantum mechanics. The present is dynamic, and is the current state of the universe as determined by the past state, and entropy and past choices. The present, along with the current state of the universe, and flow of entropy, is also dynamic with an infinite web of events and choices, which collapses the wave function and determines the next instant of the state of the universe. It is like a rolling wave or a turning wheel, where the present is where the wheel meets the ground.

And what of God? Well, personally, I think we have a problem. What IS God? I feel we have not truly defined what we even mean. Oh, we have this childish mythical figure we use in our minds, and that is forgivable because the concept of God is really, by “definition” well beyond our ability to comprehend. Here is what I think. In the old testament Moses ask God his name. God’s reply is something akin to “I Am.” And thus you have it. God Is existence.  The Mystery buried in existence, and there is nothing more difficult to understand then that.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

My Night Began Like Ancient Men

My Night Began Like Ancient Men

My night began like ancient men,
Who close their eyes and wake again.
Those things that do disturb my sleep,
And cause most men like me to weep,
Are things in past I did not do,
Yes indeed, it is so true.
Life neglected is not regained,
That is the thing that’s most insane
About this life, the waste involved,
When not lived fully, and not resolved.
To live it bravely and without regret,
One must get up, not be beset
By seductive comfort, and simple ways
That fills one’s soul and kills one’s days.
An adventurous life need not die,
Because of age and death grows neigh.
Live your life as if it’s new,
Beauty, hope and love pursue.
Then go gently into that night,
Knowing  full well that all went right.

Monday, May 2, 2016

In a Moment

In a moment it comes back to you; the things you've forgotten to remember.

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Country Cafe

Country Café

Nice high ceilings, big open windows, country kitchen chairs, and tables, wooden US flag on the wall, big preamble of the Constitution on the wall under glass, a man with wife sitting below it, he with an NRA tee shirt on. I want to tell him it’s not just his, it belongs to all of us! Glad to see they have not edited out the part that says ‘to promote the general welfare’. It belongs to and includes all of us, every one of us, even those you and I don’t like or agree with. I enjoy the space, the country feel, but the coffee is sub-par, and the hash browns tough and too crunchy and somehow flat. I’m reading a chapter entitled ‘Paganism’ from ‘Holy The Firm’ by Annie Dillard. Trains have been passing by. Now sitting out front on a porch bench writing, country songs suddenly switch to ‘Mary Jane’s Last Dance’. When I paid my bill there was a stack of US Constitution booklets on the counter (the kind those so-called militia men were carrying around at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge), free for the taking. That’s fine. It’s the “Mine not yours” attitude I object to! Just like their so called version of Christianity. When you walk into someplace like this I love the country-friendly attitude you have here, but I fit in with my blue jeans and red ball cap. I worry that they’ve lost their soul, their Christianity has lost it’s soul, their country-friendly attitude has lost it’s soul once the “other” walks in, or I tell them I voted for Obama twice and love him, or that I read Annie Dillard.

Am I being unfair? Am I prejudging, judgmental? I hope so, I hope it’s just me, but I’ve been to the town of Connell, Wa. I’ve seen this before.